out of office



As a copywriter it is often a challenge to spice up even the most mundane pieces of text. Take my out-of-office for example:



Dear Sir/Madam,


Thank you ever so much for your message. It is with utmost sincerity and great hesitation – but the situation doth requires it – that I must inform you of the actuality of me being currently not physically located at the premises of our office. I shall return on the day of the 19th of May. A Thursday, in case you were wondering.


May your inquiry be of utmost importance, I advise you to seek contact with my amicable colleagues forthwith and post haste. You may telephone them through our international number +31 (0)88 587 80 00.


May the tides of fortune wash forever in your favour.


Yours faithfully,
Coert Wigbels