Real facts and fiction

Well, What About Me?

The success story that is Coert today, had it's humble beginnings in a small town called Bedum. The fact that the ignorant hicks who inhabit this town have yet to put up a statue of yours truly, is, well, ungrateful to say the least. Not even an commemorative plaque. Which I so deservedly deserve. "Why?", you ask. Please read on.

"Why?", is a good question indeed. As if one were to look casually at my life achievements, there is nothing there that really warrants any display of public affection from the general public towards myself. I mean, I was born in Bedum, the Netherlands, back in 1975, when flares were cool, beards hip and nobody showed off their iPods.

When I was three and a half we moved to Stiens. A small suburb of the mega city that is Leeuwarden, Friesland. I grew up in what can be considered a very protected and innocent part of the world, so it's a small miracle I came out okay. I mean, how many people who ever accomplish anything have had a truly enjoyable childhood?

Get to the good bit, you git.

After High School, I went a year to High School, in Newburyport Massachussetts. Much to my enjoyment, I found my true calling to life: hanging around in Mrs. Laganas Art room as much as possible. When that year was over, so was my opportunity to fulfill my true calling. Therefore I decided to find the best surrogate I could find. Art college.

Another year after that, I found an even better surrogate: Graphic design college. I loved it there. I worked hard, got good grades, even without the bribery this time, and in no time I was flinging myself into the wonderful world of advertising.

Then I did that for, like, ever. I worked for my dad's agency in Leeuwarden, then moved to Minneapolis, went back to Dutchland to work in Arnhem, after four years started my own company. Pretty quickly I found being my own boss more hassle than it was worth. So I decided to go to Asia instead, and I ended up in England. Where I lived and worked for over two years in the dazzling industrial utopia that is Bradford, West Yorkshire. Now I've been back for another year, looking for the next big opportunity to squander.

All work and no play makes you dull, dull I say.

Yes, there's more to life than work, and my life no different. I am hugely fascinated by almost anything. But some of my favorites are: games, movies, history, psychology, trivia & humor. My favorite band is Radiohead, my favorite comedian Theo Maassen.

I once broke my heel when I jumped, slightly intoxicated, off a wall. I shouted "Weeee!" before I landed. I now have three metal screws in my heel. This little incident taught me that I'm not as unbreakable as I would like to be. Also, don't jump off walls while slightly intoxicated.

I'm very tolerant and liberal, but I don't like political correctness. I don't believe swearing makes you a bad person. But killing somebody's pet for fun does. I'm complicated that way. I have my own philosophy, which basically is all about having your own philosophy.

Orphans I've saved out of a burning building so far: 0

So, yeah... As I said, a casual look doesn't quite explain why I deserve a plaque, let alone a statue. But I tell you, once you get to know me, and I mean really really know me, like stuff like, that I chew on the back of pens, you will understand. You will see the bizarre and wonderful puzzle that is I, Coert. And then you too will demand that statue in my honour. Oh yes, you will. Till then I bid thee adieu.